We are a mess.
If we are willing to admit it, we are a total and absolute mess!
To cover up or manage this fact, we make resolutions, attend seminars, strive to follow the rules to the letter, review the basics of the faith…all not bad, but all not enough to cure the incurable in us.
I sat in my study table early one morning, took a quick look at my lists and charts which were posted on the cabinet next to my table to remind me how to live my day,…and the tears started flowing. I already know that the more rules we place in our lives, the more we give our sinful natures the opportunity to break them. It’s the law of the flesh (Romans 7:7-25). In spite of this knowledge, I still have the compulsion to set those charts and lists, and then beat my head over them for not following through.
Reaching for God’s Word to comfort the ache in my heart, I read:
Who is a God like You, pardoning iniquity and passing over… transgression?… He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in showing clemency [definition: disposition to be merciful]. He will again have compassion upon us; He will tread our iniquities under foot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. You will show faithfulness to Jacob and unswerving loyalty to Abraham, as You have sworn to our ancestors from the days of old.—Micah 7:18-20 NRSV
I will always need my Savior. I desperately need His mercies day in and day out! His grace keeps me coming back to His arms, and I receive assurance of His loving acceptance.
On that morning, I repented from my hidden sins, by faith claiming God’s forgiveness of them. I then received His grace to accept and fix the resulting mess.
He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.—Psalm 23:3-4 KJV
Some have wisely said: Wounded people are the most beautiful. This can only be true for those who have been healed by the Spirit of the Lord and let the scars from those wounds be a testament of His redemption. I hope my own scars will prove His faithfulness, that in spite of the mess my humanity creates, His beauty (not my efforts, resolutions, charts, experiences) is able to shine through.
I choose to embrace the “me” in spite of the mess. It’s because this messy me is the vessel He has chosen to reveal who He is. Then just as God has so liberally poured out His grace because of His unsurpassed love for me, I will also extend the same friendly grace to myself and to you, my cojourner in life.
“Jesus, it’ll be a privilege for me to have You use my mess to showcase Your greatness, grace and glory. Here I am. Use me.”